Yoga for Dummies

I am the opposite of the stereotypical zen-like yoga person.  I'd like to think that I'm a very positive person, but I'm opinionated, impatient and rather easily annoyed.  I'm like the anti-yogi.  Or what some of you are thinking - someone who really *needs* yoga! 

I play basketball.  I love cornhole and Miller Lite, not green tea smoothies and wheatgrass shots.  I knew what downward dog is only because I loved the show "Sex and the City".

I had tried it before.  Once.  I tell people I tried it twice, but that is actually a lie as the second time was officially mat pilates.  To a yoga person's chagrin, it's all the same to me.  Hatha, Vinyasa, Ashtonga...I might have made that last one up.  I am (was) clueless.

So when my friend Rachel here in Singapore told me that she goes regularly to a local yoga studio, I told her I wanted to try it.   For relaxation?  To find inner peace?  To buy cute yoga clothes?  NO.  I was willing to suffer through BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE WORKS ANYMORE.  See, I'm not sure about you, but when I hit my late 30's, my body decided it just wants to look a certain way.  Walk, run, sit-ups, Turbo Fire, Jillian Michaels, you name it.   So much effort for such little results.  I live in a condo overlooking a pool.  I desire to wear as little clothes as possible in this god-forsaken humidity.  I have seen those yoga women.  Yoga must be the answer.  Right?  Right? 

So I found some old stretched out cotton yoga pants (that I wear to bed) and an unmatching spandex top and met Rachel (and another newcomer Carrie) at Pure Yoga in Ngee Ann City.  Luckily, Rachel had gotten us mats in the back of the room, so my less than limber body did not have to be on display to all of the perfect ponytailed yoga-bodied Lululemonites.

The class started with some breathing and the requisite "Ommmmmmmm".  It took EVERYTHING I had not to bust out laughing.  Are these people serious?  I thought that was a myth, but apparently the Om is actually important.  So for 60 minutes I tried to keep up and keep from throwing up.  I survived, not quite sure if I "liked" it but vowed to try it a couple more times before deciding if dusting off the bikini was just not worth the absurdity of it all.

So here I am, two months later and a full-fledged member.  I still want to laugh at the Omming but am actually enjoying the classes.  Of course it's partly social...Rachel and I have fun.  Too much fun to be honest.  While barely whispering before class started one day, a very, very grumpy old man got up, picked up the "Please respect the silence" sign and placed it right in front of us.  I proceeded to stare  him down for the next hour.   I am improving, but still in awe of the pretzel ladies all around me (and men!).  Not sure if I will ever be like them, but I can now see what all the hype is about.

I am now the proud owner of three pairs of Lululemon yoga pants and two shirts.  I haven't gotten the bikini out of hiding yet, but check back with me in a few months :-)

If anyone wants to join me in my bikini quest, visit the Pure Yoga website.  Sign up for a free pass!

P.S.  The same day I wrote this my visiting in-laws generously gave me a new Athleta yoga top AND matching headband as a belated birthday present!  I am queen of Hatha 1 this week.