Best Friends Forever (Hopefully)

Yesterday I changed my Facebook profile picture to this one taken on our recent spring break trip to Sri Lanka.  I can't stop looking at it and it really got me thinking.  I am writing this because someday, when my children are fighting over who is going to drive the car or the fact that Cooper is dating one of Sophia's friends (sorry Sophia, you're going to lose that one...), I want to pull this up on the internet and show them.  And say, "Look at how much you truly LIKED each other!" 

I'm not talking about love.  Most siblings "love" each other.  You have to, right?  It's just the way it is and how it should be.

But I've always said just because you're born into the same family doesn't mean you automatically like each other.  Shared DNA isn't an instant lifelong bond - it is simply science.  The bond part you have to work at - you need to have common interests and meaningful experiences to really form a relationship.  And maybe just a little bit of luck.  There is no option to choose your family, but you can certainly choose your friends.  So I can't think of anything better than siblings who grow up being best friends as well.

Every time I watch Sophia and Cooper put on a "concert" for us, play some kind of make believe, or splash in a pool with only each other for hours, I just hope they remember it.  Their whole lives they've gotten along beautifully.  They've recently started to engage in a little bickering (usually Sophia being a little bossy and Cooper trying to assert himself), but until now they just haven't fought.  When people ask me for advice on fighting siblings, I honestly have none to give.  I can count on both hands the number of arranged play dates they've had with classmates over the years.  I never had to fill their time with outside friends because they were so content to hang with each other.  It's almost like a weird twin thing, except they are 22 months apart.  (of course they had other friends though!)

Now I'm not an idiot.  The fact that I am putting this in writing guarantees jail time for at least one of them.  You can laugh when Cooper has been sent off to military school and Sophia comes home all "tatted up".   It's not going to be smooth sailing all the time, but someday when they are adults and have their own families, I hope they remember climbing the steps of ancient temples and jumping off of remote island docks holding hands.  But I also want them to remember simple things like cheering for each other in basketball and the excitement of finishing the last Harry Potter book at the same time.

 

So listen up kids - someday when there is a (hopefully brief!) time you inevitably can't stand each other, please know that there was another time, a long time for that matter, where you absolutely adored each other. And when you're adults, please heed my advice and don't stop exploring the world together.  Don't let silly things get in the way of your bond, like trivial arguments or jobs or geography, or even your ego.  Go back to Batu Batu and jump off the dock, visit somewhere we never took you, and please...sometimes invite your old folks to join you.

Don't just be siblings.  Choose friendship.


**Another inspiration was a simple but funny Facetime conversation I had with my brother Scott last night.  Looking forward to July where we can all barbecue, fish, play corn hole (I will beat you) and go midnight crabbing again :-)